


A Complete List of Everything Gabriel Reyes and Jack Morrison Have Ever Agreed On

by dodger_chan



Series: personal overwatch canon [5]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 20:49:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12197169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dodger_chan/pseuds/dodger_chan
Summary: Just what the title says.





	A Complete List of Everything Gabriel Reyes and Jack Morrison Have Ever Agreed On

**Author's Note:**

> Today's personal headcanon: Even when they weren't enemies, Reyes and Morrison almost never agreed on anything.

1) Guns are better than swords.

     “Maybe in a video game?” Morrison offered. “Video game characters often use swords.”  
     “Life isn't a video game,” said Gabriel. Morrison was too generous. “And that's only for RPGs, anyway.”  
     “Look, I'm not disagreeing with you – for once,” Morrison interrupted himself before Gabriel could. “Shimada's been issued a gun, but I can't force him to use it on missions.”

2) Spending time with people who live their cosplay is much less fun than you'd think it would be.

     “It's safe. McCree's out on a mission.” Jack relaxed at Reyes' words. “You can stop hiding in the hall.”  
     “I wasn't hiding.” Jack was just waiting until he was sure McCree wasn't around. Reyes didn't look like he bought it. “Okay, I was hiding. I just couldn't face another John Wayne impression.”  
     “He's doing Eastwood this week.” It was hard to tell with Reyes, but Jack thought he detected a slight shudder.  
     “I don't know how you can work with him so closely.” McCree seemed like a good recruit, but Jack could never have taken the young man under his wing. He'd never realized how much he'd actually hated westerns before.  
     “Lots of undercover missions.”

3) _Some Like it Bot_ isn't a bad movie, but it did not need to be made.

     It's not that the film was bad. The actors were competent, the jokes were well-timed and funny. But. He looked over at Morrison seated next to him and he had the same half-disapointed frown Gabriel did.  
     “Did they do anything different?” Morrison asked.  
     “Instead of men disguised as women, there were masculine robots disguised as human women. Other than that, shot-for-shot remake as far as I can tell.” Which was a waste in Gabriel's opinion. If you're not saying something new, just let people watch the original.  
     “Why even bother remaking it, then?” Morrison sighed. It was weird hearing Morrison echo his thoughts. Gabe hoped the SEP wasn't about creating telepaths. “Maybe if they'd adapted the stage musical..”  
     “Shut the fuck up, Morrison.” The army better not be trying to make telepaths. Gabriel did not want to be in that fucker's head.

4) Getting shot in the back by a teammate, even for healing, is really weird.

     Mercy's nanite bullets had sounded so good in theory. Jack had dismissed all of Mercy's doubts, had been excited that they were ready for field use. And then Ana had shot him. In the back. Sure, it had healed him. But there was something fundamentally wrong about one of your own shooting you in the back.  
     “Amari get you too?” Reyes was slouched against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest. He was trying for nonchalant, but Jack had known him too long. He wasn't comfortable with this either.  
     “It's better than going to medical after?” That probably shouldn't have come out as a question. Jack tried again. “It's better than dying.”  
     “I guess.” Reyes kicked off the wall and looked at Jack. “Still wrong, though.”  
     Jack couldn't argue with that. 

5) Tracer is too damn cheerful in the mornings.

     “It's got to be the Chronal Accelerator, right?” Morrison asked his coffee. “No one is naturally that awake this early.”  
     “Some people,” Gabriel answered, “are just born wrong.”

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the poster, _Some Like It Bot_ seems to be based on _Some Like It Hot_ which is one of the funniest movies ever made and if you haven't seen it yet you really should. There is a stage musical adaptation called _Sugar_ which is fun, but doesn't really improve on the film.


End file.
